Nakita ko sya. Nasa harapan ko. Pinili kong mauna sya maglakad kasi alam ko namang hindi nya ako papansinin. I was ready to be ignored, again. Ready na ako but he turned. Nagulat ako. Lumingon sya sakin. Ngumiti. He even called my name. He was my first love. And he talked to me, katulad nung dati. I was so happy. Kasi akala ko nakalimutan nya na ako. Pero nung nagkita kami, parang walang nagbago. Basta kinausap nya ako. I convinced myself before na hindi na sya yung gusto ko. Sabi ko, kung nakaya nya akong kalimutan, makakaya ko din. I got tired of crying for him, tired of waiting. Napagod na din ako sa kakaasa na papansinin nya ako, kahit kaibigan lang. Kasi we used to be close friends. But here he is, kasama ko, kakwentuhan. Andito sya at di ako makapaniwala. Ang saya saya pala no. Kahit gaano ako nasaktan, parang nawala lahat. I was ready to fall inlove again. I was ready to get hurt. I was so happy kasi kinausap mo na ulit ako. I was so happy until I realized…

Na panaginip lang lahat. Na hanggang panaginip na lang. Na hindi mo naman talaga ako mapapansin. Na kahit kaibigan lang, wala na ako sayo. Nakakainis, paasa yung panaginip ko! ////3

escafeism:

Maybe I should end this, waiting for something I really don’t know if it’s still worth to be waited or worth to fight for.. Maybe I should accept the fact that, second chances are not meant for us. But I can’t. It’s not easy, it’s not easy to forget all those things we have done. Maybe I should let you go, same with the memories and love I have for you. But how? Yes, it hurts me when I reminiscence all those. But also, I can’t deny that it still brings me butterflies and happiness. Happiness that once in my existence I loved someone and I felt love in return. But it didn’t last, and that is why I have this broken heart, I let my hopes and expectations high, yet in return I got disappointment and a wound.. A Wound that no one can heal but you. Funny isn’t it? That all of this pain I am having now is caused by you. When the truth is, it was all me. The problem here is me.. I still kept waiting for you to come back. Even though I know you are doing just fine without me. If only I can let all this go, maybe I’m living life happy as you live yours without me.

escafeism:

Maybe I should end this, waiting for something I really don’t know if it’s still worth to be waited or worth to fight for.. Maybe I should accept the fact that, second chances are not meant for us. But I can’t. It’s not easy, it’s not easy to forget all those things we have done. Maybe I should let you go, same with the memories and love I have for you. But how? Yes, it hurts me when I reminiscence all those. But also, I can’t deny that it still brings me butterflies and happiness. Happiness that once in my existence I loved someone and I felt love in return. But it didn’t last, and that is why I have this broken heart, I let my hopes and expectations high, yet in return I got disappointment and a wound.. A Wound that no one can heal but you. Funny isn’t it? That all of this pain I am having now is caused by you. When the truth is, it was all me. The problem here is me.. I still kept waiting for you to come back. Even though I know you are doing just fine without me. If only I can let all this go, maybe I’m living life happy as you live yours without me.

(via yoinfinitebae)

“I wish you would make some efforts to talk to me…”
“EVERYTHING HURTS.”

TONIGHT…

he told me he met a girl. He was actually asking my opinion whether he would add her on facebook or not. For the second time, he was asking my opinion about a girl. Well, the first time was when his crush talked to him. He was so happy that he doesn’t talk to me for like a month. Then he came back, and told me it was not worth it. And here we go again. Me being the girl who would told him whether he is doing the right thing or not. I told him not to add her because it would be too creepy. But there was another reason behind it, I was afraid. I was afraid that the same thing would happen again. I was afraid that the guy that keeps me company will ignore me again. He even told me that she’s not that pretty and he can’t understand why he is feeling that way, like he want to get to know her. Now, he’s feeling what I’m feeling, to like someone not totally your type. 

girlbehindthisblog:

That moment where you need to pretend that you’re okay even though you’re dying inside because someone need you. They need someone who will listen to them. They need your shoulder to cry on. they need your hug. All you can do is be there for them. You don’t want to tell them that you’re not okay…

I texted him in the middle of the night. I was at a party. I was drinking, for the first time. It was just a cup, it really had no effect on me. I texted him, maybe because I missed him or because I wanted him to be the one I will talked to if ever I get drunk. Maybe by then I’ll have the guts to tell him how confused I am for liking him but yeah, I like him. And the party is kinda boring. They are playing some drinking games and I just don’t want to join. It was one of the nights that I seriously wanted to talked to him. The times when I thought talking to him would keep me company. I thought he would somehow feel special. But it seems like he doesn’t get it. He was not wrong when he told me not to talk to him and just mind the party. But idk, I was hurt. Maybe because he doesn’t know that I prefer talking to him than talking to anyone at the party and all I can do is to say okay and press send.

“People think they know you. They think they know how you’re handling a situation. But the truth is no one knows. No one knows what happens after you leave them, when you’re lying in bed or sitting over your breakfast alone and all you want to do is cry or scream. They don’t know what’s going on inside your head—the mind-numbing cocktail of anger and sadness and guilt. This isn’t their fault. They just don’t know. And so they pretend and they say you’re doing great when you’re really not. And this makes everyone feel better. Everybody but you.”
— William H. Woodwell Jr.  (via hisworkofart)

(via geesilog-deactivated20140712)